Daddy's Little Girl
by X-Kelly-X
Summary: What'll I do when my Daddy's gone? A story about Rachel coping with the loss of her Dad.


-1_Title: Daddy's Little Girl_

_Author: X-Kelly-X_

_Rating: T_

_Summary: What'll I do when my Daddy's gone?_

_Disclaimer: I do not own ER, nor do I own the characters. Lyrics belong to Jeff Carson._

_Daddy take me with you  
I promise I'll be good  
Daddy, this is next time  
And momma said I could_

_Sittin' in the front seat ridin' down town  
An ice-cream cone I'd rap him around  
My little finger  
Tighter then my baby could  
You can make a tear go a long, long way  
When you're daddy's little girl_

_Well he tightened my bike chain from 7 to 13  
Taught me to drive when I was a wild thing  
Reached and he prayed while I made some mistakes  
That I wouldn't have made if I'd have done it his way_

_Now he hugs me when he sees me  
We talk about the past  
He tries to give me money  
And I try and give it back_

_He's a book of advice  
More then I need  
The look in his eyes is saying to me  
Let me help you all I can  
While I'm still in this world  
What will you do when you're daddy's gone  
And you're daddy's little girl_

I loved him. No, not past tense, I still do. When I was younger I never wanted him to leave, always wanted to go with him. Then they got divorced. Living with Mom, I saw that life goes on without him, but now I know I'm never going to see him again, not in this life anyway. It hurts. More than I'll ever let anyone know.

He's always done everything for me, from fixing my bike, to most recently teaching me to drive stick shift, he was so proud, and I'll never forget that look of happiness on his face when I struggled on and did it. That was because of him, I was ready to give up but he made me carry on, it was almost as though he wanted me to do this before he was gone.

I see now that if I'd have done things like he told me to that I would've found life a lot easier, but I guess I've got a stubborn streak, maybe it's genetic. He always gave me the best advice, I just never took it. The best advice he ever gave me was to love, even though I never told him, he showed me that if you love someone enough, you can change them. His love changed me, no more smoking, drinking or drugs. I promise you Daddy, no more.

Until now I never thought about the things we never got to do together. He'll never walk me down the isle, he won't be at my graduation, he won't get to see his grandchildren. It never hurt until I realised he wouldn't be there at all these crucial moments in my life. He's my Daddy and he's gone, I can't be my Daddy's little girl anymore.

_There's two things I know for sure  
She was sent here from heaven  
And she's daddy's little girl  
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night  
She talks to Jesus  
And I close my eyes  
And I think God for all of the joy in my life  
Oh, but most of all_

_For butterfly kisses  
With her momma there  
Stickin' little white flowers  
All up in her hair_

_Walk me down the isle daddy  
It's just about time  
Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy?  
Daddy don't cry  
With all that I've done wrong  
I must have done something right  
To deserve her love every morning  
And butterfly kisses for life_

I wish I could've told her how proud I was. Proud of her driving stick shift, proud of her surfing. Most of all I'm proud of her for learning how to love, she proved she loves when she played that song to me, so simple, and yet the happiest moment of my last hours.

It hurts me to know I'll never walk her down the isle, never be at her graduation and never meet my grandchildren, but maybe someday I'll see them again, and if I don't I'll just have to watch over them, all of them.

All I ever wanted was for Rachel to see how much she has to offer, how much love and devotion she has to give. She's an angel, that I know, she may not always show it, but I know she was sent from Heaven. I pray that she never hated me, but that deep down she knew I was right. I wish she could understand that I hated being harsh on her, it hurt me as much as it hurt her.

I'm gonna miss my little girl, all 3 of them in fact. But Rachel will always be my little girl, whether she's 2 or 32. She had m wrapped round her finger from day one, and it's always gonna be like that, she's always gonna be her Daddy's little girl.

_What'll I do when my Daddy's gone…_


End file.
